The "impossible" dream of being effective with my time!

Everything constantly feels like it takes so much longer than I ever imagined to get done, which results in my constantly being behind on everything I want and need to get done in my business, which results in my being broke, stuck, and operating at a level that is not nearly equal to my talents, skills, and experience. Even when I plan everything out and give myself a set amount of time to complete a task, I often literally CANNOT get it completed in that timeframe (writing a sales page, or an email, for example, or even writing out this question!) and it throws the rest of my schedule in disarray.

At this point, in my 50s, I have so much evidence that I am terrible at managing my time, that I suppose being effectively with my time is what I find to be “impossible.” I can’t imagine being a person who sets a goal and gets it done, because I have literally never in my life been that person. There are a ton of other things I have been able to successfully transform (stopped drinking, lost a lot of weight, stopped eating sugar, lots of professional accomplishments, etc.) but for some reason I am really having a problem with this, to the point that rather than feeling excited about the time management trainings here in Scholars, I’m feeling cynical like, “Yeah, that will work for exactly 2 days and then I will fail again.” I realize that thought is not at all helpful, but it’s like trying to change a thought about the color of my eyes! It feels so much like a fact at this point that I am really struggling to shift it.

I feel like if I were to change this one thing in my life, everything would transform and my entire business and life would be different. It’s that big – and yet, it feels harder than anything I’ve ever attempted. Any help here is greatly appreciated.