Allowing Urges

I am having trouble allowing urges. I have watched all the overeating and over drinking videos to help me with this. I think I normally RESIST my urges which has led me to eventually (after a couple of months) binging and struggling to manage my eating to an extreme (which is why I am here trying to get this all figured out.)

This past week I was on a family vacation with TONS of food around so decided what better time to practice. I noticed that #1, it is a lot easier for me to notice my THOUGHTS that are leading me to have those urges/desires, not necessarily my feelings. I would try really hard to notice what my body was feeling like and try to describe it, but it was much harder than with other emotions I have practiced this on. Sometimes it was almost as if I would have a thought to eat something and immediately feel anxiety about it because I knew I wouldn’t be having it and I didn’t want to want it. I think this is similar to how I have felt in the past trying to lose weight, and it feels more resisting than allowing. There were some times where I felt i was allowing the urge, but still had a difficult time describing what it actually FEELS like.

Towards the end of the trip I felt like I actually had MORE desire for food than when I started, but isn’t the point that your urges and desire will go down if you allow the urges? I’m very worried because like i said, what got me to this point was resisting urges and I’m very worried about this happening again. It was not good for my mental or physical health.

How can I make sure I am truly allowing the urge and not resisting it. Does this really lower your urges and desires? I am pretty worried that I will just make things worse. Thanks for your help!