Are you my mother?

I have two moms in my life. I grew up with my step-mom since the age of 4, but my mom has always been around. I realized doing the relationship work that I have this general manual for what a mom should be like and that I’ve dismissed both step-mom and mom from the role a long time ago. For years I’ve sought other women to be my “mom” per my manual. My model looks something like this…

C – I have both a mom and step-mom
T – Both women think of me as their daughter, but I don’t think either woman is good enough to be my “mom” (per my manual)
F – dismissive
A – Don’t call either one of them. Seek other motherly figures who do fit my idea of what a mother should be like
R – Don’t enjoy either mother I do have

I’d love to start thinking, “I am so lucky that I have two people who are mom and love me unconditionally” but I’m really not there yet.

How could I start bridging over to that thought? The workbook is definitely helping, but I find myself resisting letting go of my mom manual.

Thanks! Lynn