Awful guilt


This month my husband and I are splitting. He’s leaving me and I feel enormous guilt because I’ve done things that led him to feel very sad, very lonely, betrayed, not loved.  Therefore I’ve ruined his life, mine, and our kids (they’re young and will be devastated by the divorce.)

I feel like I’m the worst human ever on this planet and this pain is even harder than the pain that I have losing the love and the man of my life (I’m still crazy about him.)

So, my question is: I’ve searched in the Study Vault and the podcasts to find some help (even if I don’t deserve it, the pain is unbearable and I need help to survive this chaos for my kids, I have trouble breathing,) and I can’t find which podcasts I should listen or what topic I should study in the Study Vault.

Here’s what I found so far: “Ep #157: Thought Creation”, “Ep #158: Beliefs” (but how on earth could I think something else than “My family explodes because of me, I hurt my husband, I’m a horrible human being…” as it’s true…?), “Ep #137: The Case for Pain”, “Ep #144: Forgiveness” (seems to be as well in order to forgive ourselves and not only others?), and “Ep #107: When Something Sucks.” Tell me if it’s accurate and if you have other ideas for me.
Thank you so much for everything.
Have a nice day.