Begin again? Part 2

Thank you for your response to my question. I think as part of the month of June daily dares I will go back to my old protocol. I know that my desire will be high and I will have to get through the initial discomfort of not eating flour or sugar. In answer to your question with regards to why I chose to go off protocol and eat flour and sugar again, I realized that once I had gotten under 200 lbs everything wasn’t magically perfect. I still worry a great deal about what other people will think or say about me being under 200 lbs.

I also had drama about what my goal weight would be. My goal weight was 180 lb then after talking to you, you gave me a suggested goal of 130 lbs. Somehow I got it into my head that 130lbs was completely impossible and instead of getting to 180 seeing how I felt then pressing on towards 130 I went off the rails and insured that I gained weight instead of losing.

It’s like my brain won’t allow me to be thin and successful. And even when I am successful I get freaked out that other people will notice my success and reject me. So I fail ahead of time in order to avoid the rejection.