Biological and real perents

Hi Brooke,
I would like to be coached on my past with my biological and present parents.
After all work in your scholar I changed a lot of my thoughts about my past; don’t treat myself as a victim anymore( I think so). But the more I work the more I feel some leftovers inside me. I want to forget some things from my past and never remember them but the most important that I want to forget my biological brothes and sister. I am wondering if I want to forget them does it mean I still treat myself as a victim ? I want to forget them but I want to see my b.father who was drug addicted and tried to killed me. Why I have that desire? Why I want to see the person who didn’t care about me?
By having all these thoughts I feel guilt towards my mommy and papa. They raised me since I was 8.( I did not like them for a long time as I was full of memories of my; and it was tabu in the house to talk about my adoption. We still never talked about it )
Now I am 27. I moved to another country ( Canada) and It took me 2 years leaving here to understand how much I love my perents. I want to leave past in the past and don’t think how strong and resilient I am thanks to my past. I want to associate myself only with my present.
Brooke, I am strong and I want to build strong relationships with my perents but I think it’s not fair if I still have all those thoughts.

P.S. Sorry for my grammar. English isn’t my first language.😊