Buffering – PG

Hi Brooke

I wanted to ask how to know if someone is a buffer in your life? I think I might indulging in confusion here as on our coaching call you thought my PT was a buffer for me. I’ve been working on my self worth and lovability and I know it’s my thoughts that create this for me and not someone else now. I’m making some progress here but still have times I don’t believe it but that’s usually after I have over eaten or buffered instead of feeling so I beat myself up over it but I’m getting better at understanding this is just my brain being efficient and nothing is going wrong. I don’t want to avoid having interactions with him as I see him weekly and I do think we have a friendship at least and there’s a mutual liking/attraction between us as we are quite similar and have things in common. Can I still be friends with him or if he is a buffer for me do I have to avoid him altogether and will he always be a buffer for me in my life, can it change as you do mind work. I am aware I don’t seek approval from now like I did before or as much, sometimes, I’m aware I want to seek his approval but I remind myself that I don’t need it from him and I can give it to myself. I do miss talking to him and sometimes i’m overeating now as I’m resisting and telling myself I can’t talk to him, for example, something happens and I want to share it with him, I tell myself I can’t do that as he’s a buffer, I can’t talk to him, then I choose to buffer with food instead sometimes. I do enjoying talking to him, is that wrong then? I’m aware it’s my thoughts I have after talking to him that make me feel good now and it’s not him, it’s the thoughts I have after we interact. I don’t see it being different how you feel after meeting or talking to a friend so it is possible he isn’t a buffer or I’m buffering less with him now? I still have thoughts that I like him more than a friend but I don’t make it mean I’m not good enough now if we don’t chat but I do miss him if I don’t see or chat to him. I know I’m indulging in confusion again as it means I don’t take action and the feeling I’m trying to avoid is rejection by him but I’m rejecting the feelings I have for him of liking him right now.

Thanks PG xxx