Buffering vs. Feeling Your Feelings

My sister borrowed $75,000 from my parents and when she had the means to pay it back she said “You don’t need me to pay this back, do you?” and my father said No. He is very frugal and my mom is in the beginning stages of Alzheimers. She doesn’t have shoes or bras that fit because he gets them at the thrift store for her (not his stuff). This situation has me outraged when I think my sister having this money and my mom doing without basics.

So I have been very upset and believe I have been feeling my feelings and different layers come up every day. However, I have also been buffering with food. Is this a negative feeling that I need to allow? How do I feel the feeling without the desire to buffer?