career block

Dear Brooke,
I moved to a different city in pursuit of focusing and furthering career goals as a product designer. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but its been a few solid years of hitting walls. I have an occasional success but it never seems to stick and eventually “let go” as a freelancer and back where i started from. Its really confusing because Im proud of my work and everyone is initially excited and loves my portfolio but Im not creating the high level expectation in the amount of time allowed. Im practicing and combing thru tutorials and trying to be active and selective in my search but worried for the next job, damaging my reputation and checking off places I cant work at anymore. My intentional thought (in model) is “will practice and get better on the next job” doesnt even feel right bec Im afraid of the next job and ending up with more of the same. Its soul crushing to be pursuing a passion for so long and having to relive this cycle of disappointment and rejection.