Concern About Grown Son

Kevin is 27. As a child, he often exhibited angry behavior. He was a “difficult child.” He went to therapy as a pre-teen. He now lives 2 miles away in a house with his girlfriend. He has no job, collects unemployment. Spends his days and nights playing video games. Has no health insurance. He avoids getting together and limits communication with his family (Mom, Dad, older brother, younger sister, aunts, uncles, cousins.) His GF says that sometimes he is mean to her and difficult to be with.

Mom accepts that not being social with family is how Kevin is. She lets Kevin be Kevin. She lets Kevin know that she is always here for him and that she loves him and then gives him his space. She does not show up at his home. She invites Kevin and his GF over for dinner, etc but the invitations are usually turned down. Mom accepts that she cannot control Kevin’s behavior. Kevin has refused to see a therapist and feels he’s not depressed.

Deep down Mom feels a very strong and growing concern that something is not right with Kevin. She wonders if he is depressed. She feels he is deeply troubled. Although she finds ways to just live her life, she cannot get relief from the growing concern that her son shows no interest in being a productive member of society.

Mom blames herself. Thinks what did she do wrong?

Is there any way for Mom to get some relief from her worry and pain caused by her thoughts about her son and his future?