Conflicted about weightloss

I’m really struggling with the concept of never loving food/not desiring food…
The more I step through this the more I’m discovering how much food seems to be entwined with who I am. I’m the person who, when there’s a party people actively ask, “What did Shawn bring? I really need to get some of that!” I love experimenting with recipes and getting feedback from people about them. I think, I tie some of my self worth to my cooking? At the very least it’s how I break the ice/avoid small talk. Don’t know what to say to someone? Ask them if they liked the bread I made and then get a ‘high’ when they tell me how much they liked it, or learn something when they have a critique. I don’t need people to love my food (though that’s awesome) but I like it to inspire some kind of an emotion. And than, here’s the real kicker, It’s been my dream to own a Pub. To run a place that specializes in unique drinks and amazing comfort food. But, it’s also been my dream to weigh 130 lbs and it sounds like I need to choose between those two things.
At the moment the thought of not being a ‘foodie’ anymore brings tears to my eyes – I’m so conflicted!