Dabbling in consuming

Hi Brooke,
I joined in february and consumed so much information and have become more aware of so many things especially in the area of drinking and the model. What has happened is that i am understanding and consuming the information but cant seem to get motivated to implement and do the hard stuff that is unconfortable. So i then started doubting the program but realized it all makes sense and its me just not wanting to do the work (especially the drinking which was my reason for signing up). My drinking has been cut back slightly at times and the chatter is far less. But im stuck and finding it hard to get motivated to DO the work. Alot of the time my thoughts go from “ well this is just who you are and your drinking is not hurting anyone and your just spending your life obsessing over it” to “ok you realky need to change so you can stop thinking sbout it”. So you see im lost in confussion. How do i force myself to do the work no matter what. Its like part of me wants to accept who i am the way i am now and the other is “no, you should not be this way, so do sonething about it!!!