Dating & finding a partner

Hi Brooke!

I’ve been diving into the material and loving it, doing my best to start applying it. A question I’ve had a while and continue to have while listening to the How to Feel Better workshop is about finding a partner. I know in the past I’ve definitely had plenty of manuals for my dating relationships and have decided against marrying two men so far.

If I work on throwing away my manuals and know that my thoughts create my feelings (and then actions), then it seems like I could make most people I date work as a partner. And this is what I feel like I tend to do – “just make it work” with most men I’ve dated, and settle. But then that means that I do have some preferences and dislikes that I’m thinking with them if I believe it’s “settling”. Then I think about how you don’t do little kid’s parties. How is it that you decide not to do something since it’s just because of a thought that you don’t like doing it? How do you differentiate between deciding not to do something and choosing to work on the thought life around it to change the preference?

How do you look for someone specifically and choose to be with someone long-term when you are working within the model? I want to choose to love them, think great thoughts about them, and work on throwing out manuals, but what happens when you’re not yet in a committed relationship yet and are looking for a good fit?

(I feel like I haven’t come across you coaching someone on the early stages of dating to find someone yet, mostly just have found engagement and marriage, if you have please point me to where it is!)

Hopefully that made sense, thanks!