Decision about job

I’m not happy in my current job/career.

I’ve been in sales for almost two years now in two different jobs. I’ve continued to slowly increase my salary each year, but I’m still not making what I want, and I’m not happy with my current results.

Even though I haven’t liked this job, I’m so grateful for my time in sales! It has pushed me mentally and given me confidence I felt I lost in college. I feel so much more confident and powerful than I did two years ago.

Every couple months, I jump all over a new job idea and try to convince myself to leave sales. That said, every idea I have requires some kind of skills training or going back to school. I don’t have money to pay out of pocket for that and I’m committed to not going into more debt for a grad program. So I keep telling myself that I just need to make more money in sales to go do what I really want to do.

In my heart of hearts, I love the idea of being an academic. However, my brain tells me how I’ll never make the money I want to make as an academic, and reminds me of my brilliant friends with advanced degrees who can’t find tenure track positions.

In my brain, pursuing a Ph.D is a luxury that maybe I’ll do once I make x money and am debt free and have financial independence. I also want to be impressive to my husband and he’s more impressed by money success than academic success.

I feel torn right now. I don’t want to quit my job just because of negative emotion. I know I could be really good at this if I could change my thoughts.

I’ve cut out different forms of buffering and I’m working on overconsumption of information and procrastination. I’ve realized I’m doing those things because I’m not happy about my job or being in sales.

My brain offers the thought: “If you just changed careers or jobs and did what you really love, you wouldn’t have to work so hard trying to stop these bad habits.”

But then it also offers “Once you start making a lot of money in sales, you’ll like it more. Making a lot of money gives you options and sets you free.”

But I’m leaving easy money on the table in my job because I hate it so much.

Do I change my thoughts first, or just cut my losses and find a new job? I know I’m carrying me with me into whatever job I get next, but I feel so trapped and I hate the work so much, that I just want to change my circumstances as fast as possible.