Disconnecting from family’s emotions

Hi there!
I have been spending time with my family who all live in a different country from me. Historically we’ve not been very close, lots of drama, co-dependency. But things over the years have improved significantly.

This work has really helped me but I’m finding one that’s still particularly difficult.

My dad has been losing his sight since we was about 40. He’s 71 now. He’s owned his own businesses for most of his working life, but due to various things including his eyesight he doesn’t have the amount of money he’d like. He has been living in northern Canada (-40°) in the winter. He wants to move to southern B. C. My sister and I spent time this week looking at potential properties.

The amount he has available doesn’t get him much. Also we’re questioning how much longer he can live on his own.

So my sister took him to see an assisted living place. She came back very upset and regretful about the experience he’s having – she was so sad that he’s in this situation, that he doesn’t get to retire the way he’d like on a beach in Spain. That his ego has taken such  hit, how unfair this is and all the things.

I still find it hard to not get pulled into the emotional experience of her/him.  Part of me believes the story she’s telling of how sad and upsetting it is. Part of me sees it as a story but I don’t know how then to deal with her.

So it feels like I either get emotionally involved with the story or I don’t but remain emotionally disconnected because I don’t know how to be with her story without just trekking her as a story.

I hope that makes some sense!!