Down 1.2lbs

C Ate fast food off protocol and lost 1.2lbs
T Protocol is stupid. I don’t have to do this.
F Lassiez faire? Laxidasical? Just a feeling of ‘not committed’
A Stop recommitting to protocol daily, stop doing thoughtwork, let my primitive brain make decisions, I don’t follow a plan, I just start eating whatever I feel like and not managing my mind.
R I don’t follow protocol and I don’t consciously manage my mind.

New Model

C Ate fast food off protocol and lost 1.2lbs
T Fascinating! I wonder what my body liked about that meal.
F Curiousty
A Consider consciously planning a fast food joy eat next time I’m in a plateau and seeing what happens.
R I test different things and learn how my body reacts. I develop an intimate relationship with my body.

C Ate fast food off protocol and lost 1.2lbs
T This might have had nothing to do with the meal
F Uncomfortable (makes me feel out of control, I like the data to ‘make sense’)

Ok I’m going to interrupt that model

C Ate fast food off protocol and lost 1.2lbs
T This doesn’t make sense
F Out of control (I HATE this feeling. I want this to make sense so that I can control it. I can see that this is rooted in black and white thinking)
A I fall into black and white thinking, I want protocol to be 100% failproof with no exceptions, I want to know that if I do x that y will occur. I question if protocol works. I question the model. I stop managing my mind.
R I go unconscious and my thinking doesn’t make sense

I am seeing that I think the REAL work here is handling the feeling of ‘out of control’ that comes when the black and white thinking stops. Some bridge thoughts I’ll try on:

– Feeling ‘out of control’ (or maybe it’s uncertainty?) is just a vibration in my body.
– Feeling uncertainty is part of overcoming black and white thinking – it means I’m doing it RIGHT.
– I am becoming a person who has the capacity to hold feelings of being uncertain or out of control – it is not a problem for me.
– I can feel uncertain / out of control AND I can continue to manage my mind / stick to protocol anyway.

Open to feedback!