Emotionally bruised

Congratulations on the land !! Fantastic news: ☺ I am excited about the June work too. ☺

I have been feeling so low today though because yesterday I had a big argument with my husband. Every two or three months he seems to explode with anger (never physical, just verbal) and it’s all directed towards me as I am the only person around. Yesterday it was all a big criticism about my son.

It’s impossible to talk to him reasonably when he’s like this, and I initially reacted defensively and then I told him I wasn’t prepared to chat when he was feeling so angry and that I would talk to him later when he had calmed down.

I went into another room and just burst into tears. It felt like a release. I felt wounded and bruised. As if I had been emotionally beaten up. I know it’s all my thoughts, I accept responsibility for my own feelings, but a part of me blames him for his behavior towards me which had an impact on me. I wish I was a saint, but I’m not there yet lol !!

Anyway, after 5 or 10 minutes I calmed down a bit and remembered the “Difficult Conversations” podcast for May, the print out and exercise, and Brooke it was such a life saver for me. I cannot express enough my gratitude. It completely turned me around. I read it through and calmed down straight away. It totally changed my understanding and feeling, and the way could deal with it. I didn’t feel helpless any more.

After a while I did my best to implement everything while chatting to him, and it was brilliant.

But today I feel like I’m recovering from an emotional battering. Just depressed and low and wishing he didn’t behave like this. Wishing things were different. And just crying intermittently when I think of it.

I would be grateful if you could suggest any thoughts that could help. I can’t figure out a model for all this either. Thank you. xxx