Expectations and Judgments

I have found that I have been having negative thinking around pretty much every aspect of my life, which surprised me. I realize that I have expectations about how something will be and then after it’s over, evaluate it as either meeting the expectation or not. So, for example, I might decide to go to a conference for work, or dinner with friends, or take on a new project, or even attend Life Coach training. Days prior, I find myself pre-judging it- that is, having expectations of how it will be, either really good ones, like I’m so looking forward to it and imagining how amazing it will be, or I’m regretting it because it will be a schlep and not as fun as I imagined, or whether it’s worth doing it at all or if it was a wrong decision. Then, once I’m in the middle of it, I also find that I’m not fully present but constantly judging it. And afterwards, I almost always think a thought about it that’s negative- like it wasn’t quite what I expected or maybe it was but I wonder if it was worth the effort. Basically, the thoughts in my Mental Closet have a lot of expectations and judgements around them. It surprised me bc I actually thought I was an optimistic and open person who likes to try new things!

I’m trying on new thoughts like, This is amazing no matter what, and Whatever happens is perfect. But it does feel unnatural right now and not authentic – to use this month’s metaphor, like trying on someone else’s clothes that weren’t originally in my closet! I don’t really have a question but would love your insights.