Fairness, Money, Partners, and Thoughts…

In my past relationship, I was married to a veterinarian. She made a lot of money. While she was going to vet school, I started my own business. By the time she was out, my business had taken off. Together – we both had 2 great incomes. Because of that, we had nice homes, great cars, traveled a bunch. Ultimately, for reasons not important here, we divorced.

I found someone new – and this person was a teacher. After 2 years into our relationship, I invited my new partner to join my company – because I needed help and since my company was doing so well, my partner made more working with me than teaching. It worked out well. We were an effective team.

Fast forward, my partner wanted some “job security” and decided to start their own business. I helped in every way I could with advice and direction – and it limped along. At the same time, my industry changed – and my own business started to falter. So instead of 2 high-level incomes, we had 2 very low-level incomes. This has lasted for quite a few years now.

Today, I’m in the middle of launching a new business I think will be highly successful. However, my partner is a bit lost – trying to find something… anything… that they can do. That they WANT to do. And nothing is really connecting. It would be blasphemy to say “I don’t think you’re an entrepreneur” and suggest working WITH me again or getting a job – so I try to help. Well, I MORE than try to help. I try to come up with ideas, do research, talk about it a bunch, and on and on. Obviously, this is taking A LOT of time away from my new business launch. And it’s really pissing off my partner. (So I’m obviously being super-effective.)

My thought is… “We need 2 incomes to hit our financial goals”… but honestly, my thought probably is… “It’s not fair that I have to handle all of the stress of saving us financially while my partner gets to play at thinking about business”. Hmph. So how does that thought feel? Terrible. Heavy. It makes me angry. It makes me pester my partner CONSTANTLY to succeed in their business… which keeps me stressed out… and distracted from my business…

So what’s a better thought to think, that you can believe? I’m a rockstar entrepreneur. I didn’t NEED anyone in my first relationship to support me. I’ve never needed ANYONE to support me. I support me. And I can do this. AND I can do this even better… grow my business faster… if I focus ONLY on what I’m doing. That’s the answer. One incredibly successful business makes 1000x more sense than what I’m doing now… 2 non-successful businesses… which I’m creating by dwelling on my thoughts of “fair” and “right”. Instead, I’ll just focus on creating the highly-successful business that I love – and then love my partner, whatever they figure out or don’t.

Hmmm… I may have solved that in the process of writing it. That thought feels true already. I love my new business – and I’d much rather just focus on what I’m doing, build my business up, than worry about my partner. And since “worry” is my option (since it comes from my thoughts), I’ll choose to be fascinated by what comes from my no longer inserting myself into the situation. Who knows? Maybe something really amazing will come out of it organically. And either way, I’ll still have a successful business I love.

So. Hmmm… Well, I think I solved this issue while writing, but I’ll post it anyway since I went ahead and wrote it all out. 😉