Fear vs Not wanting to manage my mind

I have been working since February on trying to figure out if I want to include occasional sugar joy eats. So far, it takes very little effort to NOT eat it once I’ve got a bunch of unanswered urges under my belt, by then I do a sugar joy eat and it takes a HUGE amount of mind work—and a number of days of eating off protocol—to get back to feeling like I got this… so my inclination is to NOT include sugar joy eats but then I’m thinking that I’m AFRAID of it and I know we don’t want that either. How do I know whether I’m making the decision bc it’s not a quick back on protocol for me vs me be being afraid?