Feeling of helplessness

Hey brooke,

I wrote here before about not knowing how else to help my little sister from her feeling alone in school.

She is 12 and lost her dad about a year ago. He was in jail for 4 years prior to that.

For most of those years she’s been in such a hurtful and negative place.

and after her dad died, it’s progressively getting worse.

She doesn’t have friends at school. She hates going to school. She brings all that home with her as well. She doesn’t want to do her homework.

We’ve taken her computer away and have taken her cell phone away a number of times.

She goes through major mood swings.When she is getting ready for school she gives my mother a hard time and makes very mean remarks. She blames everyone for what is happening to her.

I’ve had multiple talks with her about how she is responsible for how she thinks and feels. She can think differently about everything and that it’s up to her to go outside of her comfort zone and make friends.

That she is causing her own pain and that it doesn’t have to be that way.

That we are here for her and we love her.

That this process isn’t east but she is strong enough to get through it.

Now she is saying things to my mom like “You’re stupid and I wish you would have died instead”.

I have no idea how to help anyone.

I know there’s only so much I can say or do.

She brings these things to my attention and I feel this huge responsibility to help them find peace. but i know it’s up to them.

My mom is doing the best she can but she also takes all of this and turns into a victim herself.

I know it’s all their thinking causing them pain.

but I struggle with watching all of this happen.

I know I am also causing my own pain but I live here with them so I feel like I can’t look away either.