I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend.
I am receiving financial support from another man.
My boyfriend doesnt know.
I am okay with it but society says that this situation is “wrong”
I love my boyfriend very much. This man is someone who is a great person, not someone Im interested in emotionally.
Receiving this financial support helps me continue on living my life in this city, with my boyfriend and working on the things I want to work.
Letting go of this financial support would mean that I would have to relocate to another city as I cant get a job here due to my green card application process which will be completed by the end of the year.
I have been feeling shame and guilt around hiding this from my boyfriend due to the societal ways of thinking. After hearing you share that “we have all agreed collectively” on certain ideals and rules it resonated with me that just because people think it’s “wrong” I don’t have to guilt trip myself. The financial support I am getting helps my life work in this period of my life. Not something that is forever.
Im feeling conflicted about this because there is so much judgement around this topic but I dont know how disconnect from the thoughts that are creating this feeling.

C- I am getting financial support from another man
T- I am being unfaithful
F- Shame, guilt
A- Confusion, procrastination, constant self doubt/I would tell my boyfriend
R- No progress/We break up

C- I am getting financial support from another man
T- I am supported! Thank God!
F- Empowered and grateful
A- I create my website, get clients
R- I get to stay in this city, launch my business and live happily ever after 🙂 with my boyfriend

How can I let go of these thoughts that arent supporting me?