Help with My Very Spirited Teenage Daughter

I would so love some help with my 17-year-old daughter.

Since she’s been two and a half she has screamed and yelled and thrown tantrums (in a very explosive, out-of-control way). She does this in many circumstances…when there is a transition of just about any kind, when something goes differently than she would like it to go, when we ask her to do something/help out around the house, when she’s stressed about school, etc…She often yells at us even when we say hello or goodnight (she’ll say something like “Leave me alone or stop talking to me.”) She’s always been extremely volatile at home (with her dad, with me, with her sister, who is 3 years younger). A few mornings ago she cried and yelled for over an hour because she didn’t want to go to her soccer retreat. She is a straight A student, extremely smart and shows absolutely none of these behaviors at school/when she’s out of the house. She has good, close friends.

My husband and I are far from perfect but we have always been here for our girls, always tried our best to let them know they are loved and valued. We have tried so, so many different approaches. So far, nothing has worked. We are all exhausted.

I would very much appreciate some help! I’m so tired.