Hiring a mentor

I am in some scarcity around hiring a coach/mentor.

The reason I want to hire this person is because I am in the process of deep physical, emotional, and financial cleansing with some trauma at its root and I want external support and guidance with this.

I clutched onto the belief “I have to figure everything out on my own” for so long that I believe working with someone is the beginning of releasing that narrative.

One of the consequences of not being aware of that thought is that I went from zero debt to 30k of debt in the span of 2 years by trying to figure everything out on my own.

I threw money at my problems by investing in courses and things like that, but because I never addressed the root of my problems (ie. my thinking) it was like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline on it.

Thankfully, I am on the mend. I have the best job in the world and a steady income that has been allowing me to pay down my debt. I put my coaching biz on hold, but I’ve started to take on some clients again. I’m considering applying for another position for additional income and/or growing my coaching practice.

I know that I am resourceful. I still have some credit available and I could probably inquire into getting more. I could also take on additional work and/or ask my parents for a loan.

I want to clean up my thinking before I invest because I have had a pattern of investing from scarcity in the past and, as I mentioned, that just flambéed my problems.

I guess that if I knew that by making this investment I would get out of debt, I wouldn’t hesitate. But right now, I’m looking at this as more debt.

C: Investing in a 1:1 mentor
T: I am going to take on more debt (that I won’t be able to pay off)
F: Fear
A: Fill out application, but don’t hit send.
Project my past onto my future.
Consider putting it off until I pay off more of my debt.
Look for outside opinions.
Doubt myself. Don’t take responsibility for my results.
Imagine that the mentor won’t take me on anyway.
I rationalize that I already get free coaching from peers.
R: I don’t create another opportunity to pay off my debt? It also costs me not getting support with all the other results I want to achieve.

What result can you help me see?
How could I make this decision from belief and sufficiency?