How to change models on the go ?

I struggle changing models unless I sit down n do long evaluation of how I can achieve the change. How do I change it on the go while I’m in the model . For instance, I was in an argument with my husband and I was spinning in anger, resentment, insult, victim mode and many more . I realized that this was all my doing n I started to think how to change the model . I couldn’t do it so I just left feeling stupid . The advantage is the argument stopped but now I’m in a Cold War and still not motivated to change the model. I feel I could’ve done better in the moment .