How to find a happy me back?

Hi Brooke,
I’m a stay at home mom of 3 kids in the age of 5, 2, and 1 year old. I have been stay at home for 3 years. I’m so tired and can barely had a smile on my face now a day. I feel so stressed out and no one I could share it with. I can only find myself come to Brooke for help. My husband doesn’t help out with the kids. When the kids cry, he just blocked his ear out and still be on his phone all the time. He only off with his phone when he fall asleep with it in his hand. I get frustrated, I yell and scream and find myself in a very ugly situations. I either walked out of the house to avoid yell at the kids or just to scream it out. What should I do to find the happy me back again? She is lost somewhere for a few years already. I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I gain weight after the 3rd baby. I went from 140 lbs to 160 lbs and I’m 4 ft 9”. I feel very stressed and frustrated. I hate when I’m the only one who do all the work and the man could just be with his phone all the time and ignore to help me with the kids. Yesterday, he mention to me that I should go back to work soon when the 3rd kid in preschool. I feel upset and don’t even want to look at his face. The house works will be a huge challenge when I’m back to work. Thinking about dropping off the 3 kids at school in the morning, go to work, pick them up and go home tackle the house work on top of dealing with him just being with his phone. I have been so upset since the day he mentioned about the job. Sometime, I wish I was never born.
Would you please help me? I need to find myself back.
Thanks Brooke!