How to love consistent expenses?

I’m working on the Money & Beliefs training to address my underearning/underworking issues (enabled by my husband). During LESSON #3 – LESS MONEY: SPENDING FUEL, I uncovered that I have a lot of anxiety about almost all of my spending. I feel it in the pit of my stomach.

Intellectually, I believe that my family’s spending fuel living expenses are reasonable and that (as a family) we can afford them. I feel good about spending money on my teens’ clothing and activities, but I spend little on myself. But that doesn’t stop the anxiety. For example, I procrastinate on opening bills even when I have enough money to pay them. Our electricity even got cut off last week because of this. I feel sick to my stomach when I pay basic household bills, pay for a haircut for myself, etc.

I joined SCS last week. I believe it can help me and that I need help. I am doing the work. But I still feel sick and anxious about spending the money on it. Our budget is tight as a family and this is a lot for me to spend on myself, and not something my husband would approve of (I didn’t tell him).

My mother was an underearner and she was extremely frugal. So that might be part of my baggage. Also, some of the money that I spend on spending comes from child support and my current husband and I don’t feel entitled to those. So I think that’s part of it too.

On the worksheet, it says:
“Decide which expenses you want to continue to pay for and feel good about. You
want to find a way to love your consistent expenses.”
Can you give more guidance on how to do this?