How to not be annoyed if someone genuinely annoys you.

I’ve had this long standing issue with my husband where the things he says and how he acts sometimes just really rub me the wrong way. He’ll say or act awkward around me and I’m thinking, “we’ve been together so long why is he acting weird?” It makes me really uncomfortable and worried. The same with when he’s talking to other people, usually if they are casual acquaintances or strangers. Brooke just coached someone on the last coaching call on a woman who was often annoyed with her husband the way he did things. I didn’t see closure or a comfortable solution to what she was advising. Are there are resources on how to look at this?