Husband’s Emotions

Even after 2+ years of doing this work and managing my own mind, I continue to struggle with allowing my husband to have negative emotions.

I know logically that he is creating his emotions for himself and that all of his emotions are valid, but I still have the tendency to either fall into “fix it” mode or begin mirroring him.

My husband has been working from home for 5+ years and, as a very social person, this has become increasingly isolating for him. Especially since Covid began and his ability to travel regularly to see colleagues and customers has been non-existent. He is extremely lonely and constantly expressing his story about how he doesn’t have any actual friends and feels like a burden on me and our children.

On top of all that, he has been struggling with a new diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease, which has been extremely challenging for him both physically and mentally.

He is finally being open and honest about how much he is struggling on occasion, but most of the time he tries to hide it and pretend that nothing is wrong. Recently, he admitted to me that the reason he goes on long bike rides every single day is only partially because he enjoys is and partially because he knows that the more bike rides he goes on, the higher the chances that he might get hit by a car and then I won’t have to be burdened by him any longer.

He is resistant to seeing a therapist or coach, or getting any kind of help really, and honestly I am just scared at this point. I love him so much and hate to see him struggling, especially when he particularly doesn’t want my help (I’m a coach).

I want to find useful ways of helping him and supporting him, but everything I have tried so far seems to backfire.

I’m not even sure what kind of help I am asking for, but I am hoping that you brilliant coaches can give me some direction and insight on what I might be missing here?

Thanks for all you do!