Husband’s weight (NS)

My husband weighs about 5 kilos less than I do and I make it mean that I’m not as good a wife as I could be. I’ve got that manual that a husband should be older (check), taller (check), earn more money (check) and be heavier (sigh) than his wife. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s truly what I believe.
C – my weight (60kgs) compared to husband’s weight (55kgs)
T – I’m not a good wife
F – shame
A – I buffer by overeating, I react aggressively whenever my weight is mentioned
R – I’m not good to myself
I guess being aware is the first step. What next?
Thank you!