I cancelled my SCS membership due to financial reasons and now I’m feeling conflicted :)

I’ve been in Scholars for 2 months and have cancelled my membership (to the end of this month) because I don’t have an extra 300$/month in my life budget. I have gotten a lot out of the experience and it is completely worth the money. I simply cannot seem to make my expenses add up with this extra outgoing (I had used a credit card to join hoping that joining would cause my earnings to increase but instead I have been working on emotions/relationships which has been amazingly beneficial).

I am now feeling conflicted and want to get to a place of peace with my decision.

Thoughts that support me leaving:

I have learned a lot and can take this knowledge forward without having access to the platform/coaches
I’ve done so much personal growth over the years I’ll be fine without SCS
I need to prioritize getting my finances in order
I don’t have the extra money
When the time is right I can find myself the perfect coach again (including one trained through the LCS 🙂
The format of some of the materials doesn’t really suit me anyway
I learn best by personal interaction and action (doing) than by passively consuming videos
I’m not self-motivated enough to have made the best out of what’s offered
I have all the support/tools I need

Thoughts that don’t support my decision:

Maybe if I would have put more work in I would have increased my income enough to be able to afford to stay
Why am I cutting off this valuable support/resource?
I never follow through on things
I’m just making excuses because I don’t want to do the work
I could surely find the money from somewhere

I’ve done multiple models and can’t seem to get to a place of peace with my decision.