I don’t want to


I’m really struggling to get past the in the moment thought of “I don’t want to” or to change it as it relates to everything. Here are some of my models:

C: work (my job)
T: I don’t want to
F: resistance
A: procrastination
R: stress, hate my job even more

C: my house
T: I don’t want to organize the closets
F: dread
A: don’t organize
Result: beat myself up for being lazy continue to be dissatisfied with lack of organization

C: drinking
T: I don’t want to quit
F: resistance
A: drink wine most days
R: worry about the affects alcohol is having on my mind and body, spend a lot of time thinking about alcohol consumption

C: going to bed/ waking up
T: I don’t want to go to bed early but I should so I can wake up early and get things done
F: conflicted
A: go to bed at midnight, get up at 7:30, dont keep promises to myself, wonder what’s wrong with me

My prefrontal wants to do all the things, but my in the moment brain doesn’t and the in the moment brain always wins. I’d also like to add that most of the time, I’m conscious of what I’m doing in the moment- I realize that my primitive brain is taking over and in that moment I decide I don’t care! My habit of abandonment of caring about being my best self in the presence of an urge is so ingrained… Help!