I’m a sham

C: I’m still working from home 40/hrs week, my kids are home with me until school starts.
F: Overwhelmed, angry
T: I need to help my kids be ready for the school year and have them do math/reading/writing everyday so they are better prepared for school. They are already behind, I’m not doing enough. I’m also not doing a great with my work, I feel physically sleepy a lot of the time, I’m not sleeping well, I’m not producing quality work. I should be fired. It all feels like too much on my plate.
A: I get up early and workout so physically since working from home I feel healthier. I sometimes watch a quick show before I shower in the morning because I feel like I “deserve it”. I try to work while my kids are still sleeping but then as the day progresses, my work output declines. I think I might have attention deficit issues as I have a hard time doing my computer work with kids ‘around the house making noise etc.
R: I don’t feel good about anything, I’m just trying to get through another day and get my work hours in and I don’t feel like I have the energy to put into my kids or husband. My co-workers are out-pacing me. I’m holding people up, I’m embarrassed by my work output. I feel like a sham. I sometimes buffer on the weekends by watching way too much TV, I don’t ever feel like I’m that available to my kids or my husband.
What’s worse, if I was back at the office, I would still feel guilty. I don’t ever seem to do a good job or be in the right place at work and I ‘m not able to not work .