I’m stumped on this model:

C: called Sis to talk about visit
T: she apologized then blamed me ultimately
F: annoyed, exasperated
A: detach
R: limited relationship with sis

Why spend time with someone that is constantly at odds with me (a thought that I can not change because it is true, this is NOT an exaggeration) even when I am happy and willing to have a relationship and not take on their shit? What am I gaining from this? I feel no joy around this person whatsoever. I do feel personal joy however!

You will say “why are you choosing those thoughts?” but those thoughts just ARE and can’t always be different no matter how much or how hard you want them to be different. Based on the model, no one needs to ever leave a relationship no matter how “bad it is” because hey, “just have a different thought and everything will be ok” really?

I can change my T line to She is unhappy and F to Empathy but my A will still be detach because I don’t want to be around miserable people.