I’ve been in the program for almost a year :-/

And at the bottom of it all, is my unyielding idea that I am just not likable. I have a lot of evidence for it, and been playing this game with myself my whole life, over 50 years. I feel like I’m hiding some info from myself, because I just don’t want to look at it. How on earth do I get to the bottom of my own thoughts, if I cant even be honest with myself.. about me??