Judgment more of myself than others

So I let everyone off the hook for everything, because everyone is in a collective grief with massive amounts of people dying more than ever from a pandemic, and others are screaming for their freedoms while attacking other’s freedoms, that the whole place is needing us coaches more than ever. I let everyone simply be ok with however they are coping, surviving, grieving, showing up or not showing up.

Yet, I have not met myself with the same grace. As I run from funeral to funeral lately, I don’t have time to process the grief and inaction and blame myself for not being more productive, professional, or high achievement and earning. Nothing is happening fast enough. I’m drowning in clutter and the desire to upgrade things breaking in the house…buffering by coaching, coaching, coaching and less physical activity. I cannot invest in the coaching program on a credit card, and I’m unable to pay my car payment this month unless a check arrives. Hand to mouth. Mindset work. Believing I’m enough and capable. Then I’m exhausted.

The good news is seeing the judgment (the “should be this way” because it means I’m the terrible person who can’t keep my commitment) then letting go the meaning about me whether I do anything or do nothing. My best work comes from doing less. Now if I can believe I’m doing more by doing less judgement on myself, can I let me and everyone off of any judgment because we are all surviving/thriving/doing our best?