Just checkin’ in

I realized today for the first time that because my auto-thoughts are so painful, I decided to devote most my energy to work, where it would be hard but manageable. I came to believe life was a zero sum game because I didn’t have the stamina to deal with the negative thoughts in all of life’s areas. This is clarity of no small proportion

I am noticing that when I think a thought about an upcoming event, automatically I feel dread even if its something that could be fine. So what I am now doing is saying to myself a supportive sentence like “it will be nice tomorrow night” after a dread sentence. I think a next step can also be to put events into a calendar and create a sentence that will be how I want to think and feel about all these events. For example tomorrow night is a casual business meeting with a start up company a few of us have been working on. I can say to myself that it will work out fine tomorrow night, I am looking forward to seeing everyone, and I will be well prepared, respectful and loving to the others, and I will present my ideas with clarity and kindness.

Jeesh this is a lot of work! Thinking intentionally and deliberately. I am working with Suzy (instant clarity) to create richness in every area of life so I think between the two of you I have a great chance of making my life work Thank you for ALL your help. I really respect all the study, thought, effort and work you’ve put into this program and how much thought-work you have done. My childhood background is similar to yours. You ARE awesome.