Letting myself down and no direction

I’ve been really slack. I haven’t been in SCS for almost a month, haven’t done any thought work or anything to move me and my thinking anywhere. I feel slack, feel like I’ve let myself down.
I have some great reasons for being MIA in my life – I went on holidays, my mum was in town for 2 weeks, my son turned 18 and had a big party, my cousin has moved back to town and isn’t in the best head space and dealing with depression. I had a great time but constantly had the thought of letting myself down and not following through with what I want to do for my life long term.
When I signed up for SCS part of the deal I made with myself was to commit to my 20 minute private coaching session and submit at least one ask-a-coach question a week. I’m struggling to get back into the rhythm of doing anything. I’m in work mode, I’m working 12hr days as many as I can and am focusing on trading time for money because I know that works for my immediate cashflow fix.
I feel like I’m all over the place with no direction of what I really want.
I know it’s not really a question but a request for direction.
Thank you Self Coaching Scholars