Manual for my adult daughter

I have a thick manual for my adult daughter and I Am struggling to accept her life choices and love her unconditionally. I need help understanding the difference between being a Mom who is disappointed and sad when I see my daughter working several jobs, struggling financially and in her relationship especially when her childhood friends are successful, getting married, buying homes and having kids. I recognize that I’m comparing her to others but it’s hard for me not to. I feel so uncomfortable when family and friends ask me about her and comment that she needs to get her shit together. I have been coached on this and just can’t seem to control my thought that she is doing it all wrong. I love her very much and want her to have a good life. She is always Tired, stressed, and broke and it’s painful For me to witness this. What am I doing wrong? Thank you.