Model help- mixed models

I am having difficulty with my A & R line bc I so frequently switch models. For example:
C: dirty dishes in the sink
T: they should/ could at least put them in the dishwasher
F: irritated
A: put dishes in dishwasher myself, make a huffy noise, give dirty looks

another more complicated regarding my sister who has depression/anxiety. She doesn’t work & my parents pay for all of her living expenses:
C-My dad and other sister take care of insurance and repair on my sister’s house when a tree fell on it
T-She’s should be helping in this process
A-complain to my other sister, complain to my husband, help my parents & my other sister deal with it

I know I’m switching/mixing models but I’m not wrapping my brain around the result line for the initial feeling. Do I just not allow that model to play out completely and that’s why I’m having difficulty? But I still have lots of resentment for her bc I think that she sould help take care of the “adulting” circumstances she faces.