Momma drama

I feel like a wreck lately when it comes to my two kids. I’m pregnant (in third trimester) and feel so physically tired all the time but my temper is kind of explosive. My anger fuse is so short and I am noticing me reacting to that anger on the regular. I feel like I can’t keep it together because I’m so tired and not sleeping enough (getting woken up by my youngest – last night was 3 or 4 times), and in general not sleeping well or trouble falling back to sleep – lots of physical pain/discomfort due to pregnancy.

But this is bothering me because I am saying things in less careful ways. I used to avoid saying good or bad or right or wrong and would use other language to teach them, but I have been choosing those words and I think even shaming them in the process because I’m so frustrated by the amount of physical aggression between the two of them. I want them to stop playing so rough but they won’t listen. I never feel like they listen and it sucks. Obviously I’m thinking they should listen to me, but why is that such a problem? Because I feel so unheard. So helpless. And then I feel like a terrible mom who is a shithead to her kids.

Even though I know I’m not the worst ever. I’m just struggling right now. but I really don’t want to yell as much as I am.

My voice was hoarse on Saturday but it feels like the only way I can get their attention and that they will actually STOP fighting for more than 2 seconds at a time. I don’t want them to get hurt.

I know they’re boys and that they display their energy in this way but I can’t stand it. And then I get mad at my husband too but not helping in the way I want him to.