Money Doesnt grow on trees

First a big thank you to Brooke for finding her gift and sharing it with the world! Im so excited where my life is headed.

Im currently going through the money course. To be specific, i need $124,000 to reach my goals in 2019. This would allow me to enroll in the life coach school, pay my bills, etc. It has been over 20 years since i have felt this strong of a desire and sureness about what i want to do in this world. My sub concisous is fighting me on this but im working on changing my thoughts. Where im struggling is coming up with my past thoughts on my relationship with my money which have prevented me from making money, and how to place them in a model. My parents did extremely well financially. I grew up not really having to work for money. I asked my parents for money, i received. It wasnt an obscene amount of money given to me, but i was provided for. My mom was extremely practical, not a risk taker. When i was a teenager and would share my dreams of career choices with her, her response was how difficult those dreams would be for me to accomplish…that i should learn a more practical skill like typing because it was always something to fall back on. She encouraged me to get married…have a husband take care of me. When i was little, we went to the mall and she handed me $100 to shop. After i spent it all she made a comment that i was the type of person who would spend whatever amount i had in my pocket. If i had $10 in my wallet, id spend it, if i had $1,000 in my wallet, id spend it. If i had a million dollars id spend it. She said i needed to be careful and not be so careless with money. That money didnt grow on trees. I believed everything she said. I took secretarial classes and was married at age 20. I relied on others to take care of me financially. And i always spent everything i made, and everything that was given to me, including her inheritance when she passed away. Now im divorced, completely broke, and i want to pursue my dream job as a life coach. I want to help mothers with chronically and terminally ill kids manage their mindset. I also want to provide free life coaching services to young girls to teach them to manage their mindset because lets face it…how different would our lives be had we learned the model at agr 10? But my money beliefs are that money doesnt grow on trees, that im irresponsible with money. I believe that ill spend anything i make so why would the universe continue to bless me with money. I believe i rely on others to take care of me financially. Would love some help working through this.