My brain doesn’t want to say no BM

Hi Brooke

I was getting groceries today and knew that when I went into the store that I wouldn’t be buying any cookies, I’d decided that and told myself that. Then, standing in the queue I saw the cookies and thought, “I love cookies and I could say no but I don’t want to” So I bought 1x cookie, ate it and loved it and could have devoured a second one but didn’t, and now feel not only guilty but weak and stupid and cross with my brain for saying “I could say no but I don’t want to” I noticed that same feeling today when I woke up in a real grump and thought I could change this awful grumpy feeling and being angry with the world and the self pity but I actually wanted to hold onto the feelings and stay grumpy which doesn’t make sense at all as feeling grumpy and annoyed makes me feel bad. I don’t understand why its not easier to say no to the grumpy mood and the cookie when we know its in our best interest but hanging on to that pattern or those feelings seems to be so compelling and powerful – its seems to me a bit like cutting of my nose to spite my face, like holding on to a really hot potato and refusing to let it go even though it hurts like hell!! Could you please help me understand this, so appreciated 🙂