not achieving weight loss goal

I have a weight loss goal for a specific event, my wedding. When I ordered the dress, I was about 15 lbs. more than I am now. I have had lots of time to lose it because we postponed our wedding. I want to lose the 15 and then some so badly, yet I keep procrastinating and keep overeating. When I lose 5, I gain it back. I think this fundamentally has to do with me not believing I can do it. I just don’t understand why, when I want this so much, I keep self sabotaging.

Then I ask myself, why do I want this so much and it keeps coming back to the thought – I don’t want to be a fat bride. I don’t want to think this, but I do. Any insights would be appreciated. The other thing is, I usually overeat with tv at night. I have done urge work, but when I am watching tv, the habit brain is so strong and I hardly am able to dismiss the urges.