Not Willing To Feel Terrible

I’ve been in SCS for almost 9 months. I’ve experienced a ton of growth and results in my relationships, awareness, and overall sense of calm. I notice how much better I feel when I’m consistently doing thought downloads and models. All of this is wonderful, but my impossible goal for the year is weight loss and I’m totally failing on that front. I’ve gained 7 pounds since Jan 1. I am insulin resistant and have been diagnosed with PCOS, and I have been able to get off and stay off PCOS medication (metformin) for almost two years with a relatively strict low carb/high fat diet. I’ve studied Dr Fung’s work and worked with their coaches, generally do at least a 16:8 fast each day, usually do OMAD 3 days/week and occasionally do longer fasts up to 4 days. I have made a ton of progress with not worrying about other people’s discomfort with my food choices, especially when at work, eating out or at other people’s houses. I want to recognize that this is truly progress, but because I have gained weight and feel uncomfortable in my body every day, I just feel like a failure. Also, my thought is that I’m working so hard all of the time to lose weight and to eat in a way that isn’t accepted by society and it’s not working and maybe it will never work. The truth is, though, that even though I fast and eat LCHF 90% of the time, I also regularly overeat LCHF foods in order to buffer my emotions. I’m aware when I do it, and my thought is that with all of the business/financial/kid/etc stress I’m under, I’m just not willing to feel even more terrible than I already do in the moment by denying myself food. And I also know that eating the food also makes me feel terrible over the long run, but when I have the urge to eat it doesn’t matter to me. I know that I resist emotions and white knuckle my protocol and fasting. I know because I am able to stick with it for a while but am never able to be consistent because the emotions always come up and I always give in when I’m tired or stressed, which is often. And then I feel like a failure all over again and wonder what is the point of continuing to try to lose weight. So basically I am trying to change my thoughts to, “I feel bad and it’s okay and eating won’t make it better” but the idea of giving up that comfort is just terrifying and exhausting. Can you offer any other helpful thoughts or advice? I have the urge jar and I want to start a new 2 week protocol. But I just can’t see how I can get to a place of consistently allowing negative emotion when tired/stressed and not eating. Please help. I feel so disheartened and lack the motivation to gear up to try again after so much failure. I want to “just do what Brooke says” but I keep failing. I’m successful in so many areas of life but this is where I fail over and over again. How can I learn to be consistent? Thank you.