On courage

Hi, I am a double diamond. I have the belief: “when I acknowledge I am doing something, like following a dysfunctional pattern, I should have the courage to stop and take a different path, not follow the pattern like an automation.” This could be reduced to “I am not taking responsibility, I am pleasing myself by choosing the comfort of a pattern I learned, I am not showing courage to change.” Depending on the specific situation, this thought causes me to feel accusable or shame.
Some thought to move on from this? Thanks