Past creeping in

How do you rectify your past to believe it made you strong. How do you offer new thoughts to think when you don’t think much of what you currently are. Like the old saying goes, the past has shaped who you are today, but what if you don’t like who you are today? I want to accept myself just where I’m at in my life not I’m in comparison mode about with others my age and am thinking I should be further along in my lige at my age. This is such an unhelpful thought which just keeps me spinnin in circles. I also feel that I have been at my current job for 1 year and a half and am not building my clientele as quickly as I think I should be. My boss thinks I’m being picky with who I want to work with and am overcharging in some cases which couls definitely be true. I’m indulging in apathy right now and sometimes don’t even want to go to work. I am in serious victim mentality and need some new thoughts to start thinking here. I am currently on a four day holiday and am taking two of these days to get in alignment with myself even though my primitive brain is screaming at me to just stay who I currently am and not to grow. Thanks so much in advance coaches!!!