Past Retold

Hello and thank you all–coaches and students, for the lessons you teach me every day! Very grateful! About 11 years ago I gave birth to a healthy son and suffered from postpartum depression(PPD). I sought help immediately from by ob/gyn, but was told to take vitamins and exercise…I would be fine! But I wasn’t. I tried to mask it. Finally, after a year of thinking I resolve this on my own…I broke down and told my husband something was not right. My family–parents, siblings, etcetera, didn’t know how to handle my depression. I felt alone…cried myself to sleep so many nights…….I was eventually hospitalized and spent the weekend in the hospital–psychiatric ward. I couldn’t believe it…me in a psych unit…how low had I gone?? Psychiatrist said I was ok and some chemical imbalance had occurred and I would be fine in a few weeks with medication. This would be the beginning of my long journey taking medications, visiting psychiatrists, psychologists, praying, yearning to be my old self….seeking desperately to learn how to live….I felt ashamed every time I visited the psychiatrists…ashamed of not being the mother and wife I had envisioned for my husband and son…I prayed for wisdom….I was lost, ashamed, scared…I joined SCS last October and thanks to the tools I learned was able to truly let go of the negative story I was telling myself over and over for YEARS about my experience…I truly learned to embrace my past, I saw myself with compassion, and there is no way I would ever want to be the “old” me again…I emerged a strong, compassionate, loving, mother, wife, daughter, woman, human. I was able to do more for my mental health these past few months than all my previous years…I cannot thank you enough. I can truly say that I would not change a thing….the lessons I have learned have been empowering! I am grateful for it all…the sleepless nights, the sadness, all of it! I realized that I was never alone…most important person was there for me—ME!! I never gave up…I took care of my family…I survived….I evolved…through SCS and look forward to the better versions of myself that are yet to be…!!