Pattern of Emotion Validation

The holidays and time with family, in-laws had a pattern show up for me. Can you help me understand how to be an emotional adult? What I can take responsibility for…

C in a room someone always talking
T my voice isn’t heard
F not valued
A show up weird, trying to have others validate me
R rejected and judged

I did the unconscious model several times. And I often cycle through different emotions… in the same framework

A double down and DO more
A show up and reject them
A show up ambivalent
A anger and avoid
A escape, change C

This shows up again and again.

R show up as my own credible witness, I am enough
R self validated

Why do we get to a point of reaching outside ourselves for validation and not trusting our own voice?

I googled “validation” and explored it intellectually.

I’ve conquered anxiety and use so many of these tools as meta skills. But this concept and pattern is what I’ve uncovered.

Your words of encouragement appreciated.