Peeling back layers

Oh Brooke! This work is so good! I feel like I’m continually peeling back layers, revealing more and more as I go. I’ve felt stuck for 2 months now with my weight loss. I’ve been buffering. I’ve been doing models to try to find better serving thoughts, but they’ve not been good enough to produce change.
You recommended someone go to the managing urges video in the quick start of the over drinking program. I watched those videos several months ago, but decided to go back and watch it again now that I have started giving into urges again. I had a spark of awareness! My unintentional models have looked something like this:
C: 4:30 pm
T: I want some nuts while I wait for dinner to cook
F: desire-urge
A: eat nuts
R: stalled weight loss

Your model in that video had “reward” in the R line and I realized that my models have all been externally focused….4:30pm, stalled weight. So I did a new thought download on what’s going on internally when I want to buffer and found that it is almost always when I am waiting. I also found that I spend the majority of my time waiting. All morning I am waiting for lunch. All afternoon I am waiting to go home. All day I am waiting for the day to end so I can go home and be warm. (I work in a very cold environment, and I get so very tired of being cold.) Once home I am waiting for dinner to cook, then I’m waiting for bed time. I do this over and over again. No wonder I want a reward!

So I put life in the C line and waiting in the A line and realized that my F is tolerant. I tolerate my life.

No more. I am entitled to a big, rewarding life. Now I just have to figure out how to have this rewarding life without changing the C. I know it is my thoughts. I know it is improvement that I have moved from drudgery into tolerance, but I’d like to get to a more abundant mentality.

I post this in hopes that you will respond with something that will give me another spark of awareness to help propel me forward. I’ve been doing models for a couple of months now on the buffering before realizing that I needed to put “waiting” in the C line instead of the external circumstance and “reward” in the R line instead of the external result which led to putting “waiting” in the A line which gave me some real clarity. I’d like to peel these layers faster than that if possible! So what insight do you have for me?

C: 54 degree work environment
T: I just have to get through this then I can have that
F: tolerant
A: attitude of waiting while I work
R: buffer for relief, reward

C: 54 degree work environment
F: joyful
A: abundance mentality while I work
R: enjoy my life